Words in space

Today was wonderful and terrible

restoredhope — Sun, 09 May 2010 06:48:05 +0000

Started out meeting with the ladies regarding our mixer. Still so much to do!!

Then we headed off to the inland empire for our second may wedding. Today I realized I’m fearing “weddings” less and less. Still almost hyperventilate when asking for and shooting thier rings, but bits and pieces are becoming normal. I was reading the blog of one of my new fave photogs and I thought about one of their standard images. I’d like to be more creative, out of the box. Those classic images would still be there for the brides and grooms, but display things that are new and fresh. Time to research inspiration.

And the evening ended terribly. Badly. But moving on and praying more. That is the fix.

I cant believe it’s May already

restoredhope — Thu, 06 May 2010 16:33:14 +0000

So much to do, so little time!

Could be better.

restoredhope — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:05:42 +0000

Today we have two broken cars, one broken computer, pending student loans and financial crazyness.

But we have each other, and like you said, at least that’s something.

Xoxo

Blerg

restoredhope — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 16:17:54 +0000

Being sick at work is no fun. I need this to be over, pronto!

End of april

restoredhope — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:17:35 +0000

Spent the weekend with Isaac. Can’t believe the weddings start Saturday. This is going to be a crazy month.

Dulce.

restoredhope — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 13:43:55 +0000

The things you say to me, make me melt. Sure there are moments when we completely miss each other and it’s a room full of fury. But mostly, your words are so good to me.

About rescuing me from this place, about our future.

Xo.

Starting a new chapter.

restoredhope — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 20:49:27 +0000

Wishing I was in Seattle with my love, wandering the city.

Instead, he is starting day one of the new job.

breathing

restoredhope — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:09:47 +0000

I realized today that I felt oxygen deprived. When was the last time I’ve taken a real breath, a full bodied intake with no burden on my soul or lungs, the kind small children take every day when they run outside after a long day at school. The kind of breath grown adults only start to taste after three days of vacation or an hour long yoga class. I think this is a year of rapid shallow breathing for me. Necessity tells me to make a place to lay down the burdens and cares which make breathing difficult. To make a routine of calm in the midst of chaos.

conclusions

restoredhope — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:16:24 +0000

One of the hardest things about ministry is there is no quantifiable way to measure “success” or failure. Well there’s the obvious personal failure aspect, as a moral failing. But in terms of those you’re serving. We have scripture which talks about how a leader in the church ought to lead, instruct his household, and live their life. But nothing which says: here’s what a job well done looks like. Because, how can you when you’re leading a group of people still living out their lives, full of victories and failures. I think about Christ whose very followers, disciples, failed him in those last hours. One who denied even knowing him, let alone defend the cause. Another who betrayed him for money. All who slept instead of praying. Yet, Christ stayed on course with the call God had on His life. If we were to measure the success of that call based upon the stance of His followers in that moment, we would be tempted to call Him a failure.
I find myself so ready to fall into a heap of rubbish in moments like that. To give up, call myself a failure and say what’s the use? In that moment, I’ve lost sight of my call. I’ve taken my eyes off the Creator and focused on the crowd. If Moses had done what I’m so tempted to do, he would never even have glimpsed the promised land. The measure of a leader’s worth is not based on the by product of their efforts, but their obediance to Christ. Always.

live this life

restoredhope — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 16:48:35 +0000

Lost
Alone
Aware and confused

The path I’m on
I did not take
The burden I carry
I did not make

This road of life
Has sunrise
But also sunset
The time when the sky is dark
And the road is wet
Soaked with tears
Of sorrow
And of pain
Waiting for the sun
To rise again

Cold
Bare
Hurting and alive

Give up
Give in
Shut down
Shut in

To run from the briars
The unknown
The faltering

To run from the chaos
The shouting
The breaking

That is not the life to live
The life to give
Instead I offer up my all
Bruised broken and aware
To rise restored, redeemed, alive.
To live this life, pain and all.